The Sakai Traditional Marriage Ceremony

1. The Origin

Every civilization on earth has its own way of performing marriage ceremony. For this, the Sakai traditional marriage ceremony is one of them. According to Suparlan, in the marriage concept of the Sakai people, everyone might propose marriage to anyone else, but not to his/her relatives. The relatives here can be mother, mother-in-law, father, father-in-law, sister/brother, son/daughter, and nephew (Suparlan, 1995: 177).

Suparlan notes that the unique feature about the Sakai traditional marriage is the self-awareness of not to marry twice, or commonly known as polygamy. It is rarely found in the Sakai society wherein a married-man marries twice to another girl, even though polygamy, based on the Sakai adat law, is allowed – of course there are some strict prerequisites to meet. However, the low number of polygamy is not the consequence of the strict rules on that matter, but rather on economic reasons. Simply because the more wives the more economic burden should be taken on (Suparlan, 1993: 18-19).

As in many other cultures, before succeeding in marriage, a premarital couple make a seriously close relationship in term of knowing and understanding each other. In this situation Suparlan shows that the relationship is commonly a result of socio-economic activities happening amongst the Sakai people. No matter how close a premarital couple`s relationship, it should be under the absolute control and regular monitoring from the parents – especially from the woman`s parents – and the society to avoid premarital sex and pregnancy out of marriage. Indeed, in the Sakai adat law, a pregnancy out of marriage and premarital sex are prohibitions (Suparlan, 1995: 178).

When a couple has understood and had enough information on each other, the man`s parents get him to propose a marriage to the girl. If the proposal is approved then the the two families discuss the wedding day. In addition, the wedding day is one or two months after the groom-candidate proposed marriage to the bride-candidate.

2. The Properties

In this article, there will be explanation about the properties needed in the melamar ceremony (to propose for marriage) and in the pengesahan perkawinan ceremony (legalizing a marriage). Those properties are usually brought to a groom-candidate by a bride-candidate. Suparlan (1995: 179-181) explains that there are some significance properties as mention below:

a. Properties in the Melamar ceremony

In the present, the properties needed to accomplish the melamar ceremony are little bit different from the past. In the past, the properties were in the forms as below:

• Sirih pinang (betel vine)
• Two sets of the Sakai`s traditional wedding robes
• Two sets of silver bracelets and rings
• Some Real coins
• A pickaxe, and
• A spear

In these days, pickaxe, spear, and Real coins, are no longer available and most of the bride-candidate finds it hard to get them. Therefore, the properties needed to accomplish the melamar are in the forms as follow:

• An iron bed completed with pillows and a bedspread
• Silver bracelets and rings
• A radio set and tape recorder.

b. Properties in the Pengesahan Perkawinan (legalizing the marriage)

In the wedding day, the bride-candidate bears responsibility to present the groom-candidate with the following properties, or better called dowries:

• A Real coin (in the melamar, the Real coins may be substituted to other things, but it is a must in the pengesahan perkawinan ceremony)
• Two sets of the Sakai traditional wedding robe
• A set of clothes to wear daily
• A set of ring and bracelet made of silver
• A sum of money, usually in Indonesian Rupiah, in which the amount is decided based on the agreement from the two families.

3. The Venue

The Sakai traditional marriage ceremony usually takes place at the batin`s house. Batin is a local word for an old woman pointed by the bride-candidate family to represent the family`s will of proposing marriage to the groom-candidate.

4. The Wedding Ceremony

According to Suparlan (1995: 179-183), a Sakai traditional marriage ceremony would be legal when it follows the below stages:

a. The Melamar (to Propose for Marriage)

In the Sakai adat law, the properties should be presented to the groom-candidate by a batin who had been appointed by the bride-candidate`s family. The Melamar begins with the sirih pinang (betel vine) presentation to the groom-candidate by the batin. When accepted by the groom-candidate family, the batin gives all the properties to the groom-candidate`s family. After that, both families and the batin discuss the date and place of the wedding day.

b. The Dowry presentation

Following the property giving in the melamar, the dowries are presented to the groom-candidate as well. A day before the dowry presentation, the batin sets the dowries as such; thus are ready to be presented in the following day, after the melamar.

c. Upacara Pengesahan Perkawinan (legalizing the marriage)

Suparlan also notes that the Upacara pengesahan perkawinan (legalizing the marriage ceremony) is conducted at the batin`s house after the dowry presentation. It begins with a drawing rite carried out by the batin. She draws the couple`s picture on a pillar underpinning her house. Then, she asks the couple whether they`re ready to marry. When the couple confirm their readiness, the batin asks the audiences whether the marriage has been a legal; thus it names “legalizing the marriage ceremony.” When the audiences prove the marriage as legal; hence the couple has been legalized into a couple. The husband is responsible for stocking his new family with sufficient foods and wealth; and the wife is responsible for taking care of the children (Suparlan, 1993: 25).

The recognition of the state law, according to Suparlan (1995), is also important to justify the marriage ceremony. It is aimed at legalizing the marriage based on the Sakai adat law. In this case it is necessary to invite some government officials to witness and legalize the adat marriage based on the state law. They are intentionally invited by the host to note the marriage administratively, and be the witnesses over the marriage (Suparlan, 1995: 182). Following the increasing number of Muslims in the Sakai society, the Sakai gradually accept the insight on a marriage should be legalized not only based on the adat law, but also on the state and Islamic marriage laws.

In the state marriage law, the Sakai traditional marriage is considered the same as the siri marriage (Islamic marriage that is unregistered in the state marriage law). So far, there is no rule banning the siri marriage as well as the Sakai traditional marriage. Unfortunately, some people view the Sakai adat marriage is just the same as the bawahtangan marriage (illegal marriage either by the state or Islamic laws), in which some important marriage elements are absence. For that reason, according to Abdullah (1991: 187-188) the bawahtangan marriage bears possibilities of resulting in bad impacts such as follow:

• There is a possibility for hiding one`s marital status. Either in the Islamic or state marriage law, a marriage should be announced to the public as well as be noted administratively by the civil servants from the government. However, in the bawahtangan marriage, there is no effort to have the banns published; and the legalization from either the state marriage law or the Islamic law is absence
• There is a possibility for burdening the woman just in case when there is a divorce in the future. In this case, the woman may lose her rights over the wealth acquired jointly with her husband
• There is a possibility for burdening the children just in case when the children are enrolling to state-run schools and applying for the jobs in the state-run institutions because their parents have no certificate marriage legalized by the government. More than that, the children may also lose their rights over the legacy from their parents.

d. The Marriage Feast

After the marriage has been legalized administratively based on the state as well as Islamic marriage laws, the Sakai traditional marriage ceremony succeeds in a marriage feast. At that time, the percussions are beaten frequently and rhythmically aimed at inviting more people to attend the wedding ceremony. It goes on for three days ahead wherein there will be abundant foods, drinks, and some entertainments.

5. Prayers and Mantras

In the process of data collecting

6. The Values

The Sakai traditional marriage ceremony, there are some `values` that can be gained from it. They are:

a. Procreation

Marriage, in general, is the right and legal way of procreation, creating and shaping the future generation that later on may succeeds their parents will.

b. Understanding Each Other

Abdullah notes that in order to know and understand the spouse-candidate is a prerequisite for one who is going to marry. As well as the Sakai people, there is the time for a couple-candidate to know and understand each other in term of avoiding divorce and broken home after they got married someday. Well, the low number of divorce rate amongst the Sakai people perhaps is a logic consequence for such a treatment of the Sakai parents towards their children who is going to marry. Likewise, they do believe that the disappointment after marriage can be avoided during the premarital relationship (Abdullah, 1991: 185-186).

c. Responsibility

According to Abdullah (1991), a couple who is under a premarital relationship is responsible for taking full control over themselves in the aim of avoiding the premarital sex. Indeed, for the Indonesian, especially the Sakai people, the premarital sex is considered contemptible; thus it may give bad image and impact to both families. After a couple enters a marriage, both bear their own responsibilities, in which the man is obliged to stock the family`s daily needs and the woman is responsible for taking care of the children.

Afthonul Afif (bdy/07/01-09)

Translated by Irfan Nugroho (ter/106/03-09)

References:

• Abdullah, Abdul Gani. 1991. Himpunan Perundang-undangan dan Peraturan Peradilan Agama. Jakarta: PT. Intermasa.
• Suparlan, Parsudi. 1993. “Masyarakat Sakai di Riau”. In Masyarakat Terasing di Riau. Koenjataringrat dkk. (Ed.). Jakarta: Gramedia.
• Suparlan, Parsudi. 1995. Orang Sakai di Riau: Masyarakat Terasing dalam Masyarakat Indonesia. Jakarta: Yayasan Obor Indonesia.

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