Traditional Wedding of Bisaya Ethnic Group, Serawak, Malaysia

1. Origin

Culture is man’s creation that comes from what is experienced in their everyday lives (Koentjaraningrat, 1980). This maxim applies as well in Bisaya community as shown, among other things, by their traditional wedding ceremony, which is still widely practiced in the villages in Serawak, Malaysia. Bisaya ethnic group is an indigenous people who inhabit coastal areas in the shoreline of Kalimantan (Indonesia), Brunei Darussalam, and Malaysia. They are believed to be the ancestors of modern Bruneians and Malaysians. This ethnic group has dispersed up to the Philippines, where they are called Visaya people (Kahti Galis, 1990; Bewsher, 1958).

Bisaya wedding is strictly regulated under traditional law. According to their story, Bisaya ancestors came from a family that moved to stay in the north part of Borneo (Kalimantan). The family had seven children, six boys and a girl. It is these children who later brought forth Bisaya people (D. Headly, 1950).

Generally, a Bisaya wedding comprises 5 ceremonies, namely nulasoh (getting to know the bride), basuruh (settling on the dower), ngadapit mansaoh or barian (welcoming the bridegroom and reception), bagu atis (cleaning feet and praying for good fortune), and nguli angai (returning to bridegroom’s house). The whole ceremonies must be performed in sequence lest the wedding will be considered unlawful and violation to tradition (Kahti Galis, 1990).

2. Time and Place

The time of the wedding depends on the agreement of both sides of the bride and groom. Usually, it will be settled when the groom side come to propose the bride. The wedding is normally three months after the marriage proposal.

The wedding is held at two places, the married couple’s houses. Nulasoh, basuruh, and apit mansaoh are carried out at the bride’s house while the other two ceremonies, i.e. bagu atis and nguli angai, are at the groom’s house.

3. Master of Ceremony and Participants

A Bisaya wedding is led by the community head and attended by family, relatives, and other invited people. In modern time, though, the wedding is led by a government official.

4. Equipments and Materials

Bisaya wedding ceremony requires some specific equipments and materials as follows:

Bisaya traditional clothes for the bride and groom
A sword for the bridegroom
An amount of money
Golden rings
A water buffalo
A sink to contain betel vine water.

5. Process

The marriage ceremony consists of three steps: preparation, wedding, and closing ritual.

a. Preparation

The bride and groom must ensure that all the equipments and materials are well set.

b. Wedding

As mentioned before, there are five rituals in the wedding:

1. Nulasoh

Nulasoh is meant to make sure that a man proposes the right woman. This also proves his serious intention to make her his wife. The groom’s family will send one or two relatives (usually women too) to see the woman and propose her. As normally in Malay culture, there is a session where representations of both sides communicate with pantun (Malay four-line poetry) in nulasoh.

In case that the bride’s family refuses the proposal, it too must be done politely and humbly. It is forbidden to turn down a marriage offer rudely and such is believed to bring misfortune for them selves. But if the proposal is accepted, the bride’s family will usually ask for a week time to discuss the matter with other relatives. This aims to give the woman a time to think seriously about accepting the proposal. Parents cannot force their daughter to consent or decline a marriage offer. They are only allowed to give advices.

If she is willing to marry the man, her family will send some relatives to tell the groom’s family, then they will start talking about the dower (basuruh).

2. Basuruh or Barian

With the proposal accepted, the family from the groom’s side will come to the bride’s place on the given day to talk about everything regarding the wedding. This is what is called basuruh, i.e. the process in which families decide the dower and the engagement day.

A basuruh entourage is usually led by the groom’s parents accompanied by some relatives (more or less 20 people, male and female). They will usually bring some gifts for the host.

On the day of basuruh, the family and relatives from the bride’s side should be ready early in the morning to welcome the guests. The day before, they already define and prepare the dower and who will represent them to accept it. The family representative will first explain his relationship with the bride’s family and answer any questions from the groom’s side.

In the bride’s house, the groom’s family is treated with snacks. The men will gather in the central room and the women in the back room. At first, they will not talk about the dower but rather, about random things. As midday comes, the guests will be led to have lunch (makan madau).

The talk on the dower will not begin until they finish the lunch. Before they start talking, the groom’s family is informed already that the proposal is accepted by their female relative who is sent to ask the woman in person while in the back room. Then, they will hand over the ring and money to indicate that engagement is settled.

Further on, there are some requirements that will be announced by the spokesperson in relation with the engagement. Among them are:

The period of engagement is three months. It means that both sides of families have that much of time to prepare the wedding ceremony.
In case that the man cancels the engagement, the dower and money will not be returned. On the contrary, if the woman calls it off, the ring and money should be given back twofold.
In case that the man cancels the engagement while he has slept with the woman, he should be fined with the ring and an amount of money supply as determined in basuruh.
In case the woman gets married with another man within the three months period, she should be fined with an amount of money to make for the embarrassment of the groom’s family. The money given when basuruh will be returned twice as much along with the ring.

After the handing over of the ring, the bride’s family will announce the dower they ask from the man. Based on Bisaya tradition, the dower must consist of:

Daily money (mas kawin) for a number of everyday necessities
A water buffalo to be slaughtered for communal meals or can be replaced with money of the same price as a water buffalo
Money for the wedding reception (belanja hangus)
Kumbang tandu (a wedding token), i.e. a gong or can be replaced with money of the same price
A wedding gift for each representative of the bride’s family who accept his marriage offer. The representatives consist of four persons: two from the father side and two from the mother side. The value of the gifts depends on their agreement

The dower is determined in a way like in trading, in which the two sides bargain for a proper value. The economic background of the families plays a significant part in the process while social status and pride are other factors. Agreeing on the dower, they go on to talk about the wedding day. After the day is settled, the basuruh is completed.

3. Ngadapit mansaoh

The main agenda of a Bisaya wedding is welcoming the bridegroom or the reception. This is held in the bride’s place. Usually the family and relatives of the bride have prepared everything a week before.

A week before too, the man has delivered the money for belanja hangus and the water buffalo. Rich families usually give more than a water buffalo to show their social status. However, as now less and less people have water buffalos, this tradition is wearing off and the buffalo is replaced by money.

At the groom’s house, his family and relatives gather to accompany him to go to the bride’s house. The entourage will not depart before they all come. Before leaving, which is usually at midday, they have a meal together.

At the bride’s house, they already prepare all the food to serve the groom’s family. They also invite neighbors and relatives to welcome the guests (they are called orang dari pihak gadis). The guests come with some gifts that are kitchen necessities, namely rice, sugar, coconuts, breads, and vegetables. Besides, they also give an amount of money to the bride’s family to help them out with the wedding.

The guests are received with Bisaya traditional music at the bride’s house. The groom carries a sword (called, bujak) as a symbol of self-protection and a basket (sarot) as a symbol of his new life with the bride. In front of the groom, there is a bommoh (a psychic/ulema) to keep him away from evil deeds and guard the ceremony. The entourage is then seated to have lunch.

A representative of the groom’s family stands after lunch to lead the handing over of uang harian to the bride’s family. To open the ritual, he hits a gong three times. The uang harian consists of a gong (kumbang tandu), a jewelry box (languai), women’s belt (rantai cincing), women’s traditional Bisaya clothes (baju kebaban), and Bisaya woven clothes (tajong basulat). Kumbang tandu are given by the groom’s cousin to the bride’s cousin. Kumbang tandu must be returned to the groom should they divorce in the future.

Next is the handing over of dower as agreed in basuruh ceremony. Nevertheless, the bride’s family asks for additional things for the dower with a certain reason, for instance, by saying that there are some people who have not been counted to be given a present during basuruh. The groom’s side normally rejects the request. But then it becomes more like a bargain and ends with an agreement. This tradition is not abolished, though.

With the dower handed over, the marriage is now done and lawful. Later on the groom can get in the back room of the house. His entourage and other guests, meanwhile, can enjoy the food.

On the night, the guests are entertained with traditional Bisaya music, singing, and also pantun recital (banding). They leave in the next morning after breakfast or at midday. During their stay, no one is allowed to go out or get in the woods in order to avoid evil spirits.

4. Bagu atis

Three days after ngadapit mansaoh, they will perform bagu atis ceremony, which is done by cleaning the bride and groom’s feet and praying to keep them away from pogot ghosts who are believed to dwell in the dark bushes. A pogot ghost could appear as either the bride or the groom to sleep with one of them.

Besides, bagu atis ceremony is done in order to cleanse the couple from the dirtiness of sexual intercourse. Performed at the groom’s house, first the groom enters the house while unsheathing his sword before putting it on the ground. After that, the bride and groom stand upon the sword to symbolize that their bond is as strong as the sword.

Am unmarried female relative from the groom’s side enters the house carrying a sink of betel vine water then washing the couple’s feet. The sink must be white to symbolize the wish that the couple’s hearts be pure. The sink together with a number of kitchen utensils such as a bowl, two glasses, and two forks are handed over to the couple as a symbol of their new life.

Later on, the couple will be asked to distribute betel vine leaves for the attendances and to munch the leaves together. The couple will then spit the leaves out through the clefts of the floor, wishing they will have good children and fortune. There is a belief that pale and not red betel vine water means the bride and groom are jealous persons.

The couple will go down from the house and walk around it afterwards, if they plan to stay there. This is to symbolize a condition in which they are free to do anything without fearing evil spirits.

5. Nguli angai

Two days after bagu atis ceremony, they will hold nguli angai, that is, a ceremony to celebrate the coming of the bride and groom to the groom’s house for the first time. The couple will stay at the house for two or three nights before moving to their own residence.

This ceremony is also meant to seek and obtain good fortune and drive out bad fortune from the wedding ceremony. Here, people will pray for the couple to be always safe and prosperous in the marriage.

c. Closing Ritual

A Bisaya wedding ceremony is closed with handshakes among the family, relatives, and the guests present. This is meant to show that everyone is happy and praying for the bride and groom.

6. Prayers

In the Bisaya wedding ceremony, people say prayers for some things, such as:

Prayer of gratitude to God and to ask for His blessings for the wedding
Prayer of wish for good livelihood and children
Prayer of wish for protection from evil spirits

7. Taboos and Forbiddances

The new couple must not go out or to the woods in order to keep themselves away from evil spirits.

8. Values

The Bisaya traditional wedding, that is full with rituals, holds some values for the people, such as:

Preservation of tradition. While doing a traditional wedding such as this, people at the same time conserve their ancestor’s tradition. This will make tradition valuable for both the people and others. In the middle of modernization that erodes local tradition, preservation needs to be done to allow the next generation to learn from their predecessors.
Cultural symbol. This traditional wedding is formed by symbols and meanings. The sword, for instance, symbolizes a strong family relationship while the white sink stands for the wish that the bride and groom have a pure heart. These cultural symbols reflect that Bisaya people see swords and sinks not only as mere objects needed for the ceremony.
Family and social solidarity. A wedding ceremony is usually attended by relatives and friends. This shows that solidarity of family and neighbors in Bisaya community is well kept.

9. Epilogue

The Bisaya traditional wedding seems like a communal feast, where the bride and groom, their families, and their neighbors gather to celebrate the happiness. Wedding parties are a socio-cultural space that bonds many people. In the context of Bisaya culture preservation, the traditional wedding is worth studying, i.e. as a way to know and understand the culture of others.

Yusuf Efendi (bdy/40/1-11)

Source of Photo(s): http://abdnaddin.blogspot.com

References

Bewsher, 1958. The Bisaya Grup, in Serawak Gazette, volume XXXIV.

Koentjaraningrat, 1980. Manusia dan Kebudayaan Indonesia. Jakarta: Djambatan.

Kahti Galis, 1990. Adat Perkawinan Masyarakat Bisaya Sarawak. Kuala Lumpur: Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.

D. Healy, 1950. Some Bisaya Folklores, in Sarawak Museum Journal, volume V.

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Malay Culture